Feeling Lonely.

I have never been a big fan of Valentines day and have always viewed it as a complete waste of money and too much of a big deal just for one day of the year. Why on this one one day of the year do we all feel the need to fill the pockets of the big corporate fat cats and boost their profits even more just to show to your loved one that you love them. For 364 days of the year you spend your time with your partner showing each other your love so why does everyone need to waste money that they haven't got booking stupidly expensive restaurants and buying ridiculously overpriced flowers. I just don't get it and who invented this day, (probably Tesco)lol. I never thought it would bother me spending my first Valentines day this year as a single woman, but my god it hit in a big way. This being my first Valentines as a woman was horrible. My now Ex partner spent the night out with her very good male friend whilst i was on my own with my 8 year old son at home. I woke in the morning not feeling any different to any other day but as the day wore on and i saw the endless adverts on TV and programs all bloody talking about Valentines day it slowly started to take hold of me. I felt very lonely and upset. I needed some love and affection but had no man around to cuddle me and treat me like a princess. Now i know that finding a man who would treat you like a princess is hard to come by but being alone on this one day of the year felt horrible, but why? I know that i am single and i am transitioning into a woman and that my feelings for men are rapidly growing but why should this one day bother me so much. I admit this being my first year since splitting from my Ex partner as a couple did hurt and not having her here with me was hard but am i going to feel like this every year until i find a lovely man! Am i changing into a woman so much that all the soppy stuff such as Valentines day are really starting to bother me! I know my journey into womanhood is a big assault on my head and hormones and i really do miss being loved but if this is how i am going to feel every year then i can't wait to find a man. I can't wait to have a relationship with a man as i would finally feel accepted as a woman and i am looking forward to the day that i can be looked after, cuddled and have that lovely warm gooey feeling inside. Maybe i am starting to feel what all women feel and realising why valentines day is such a big deal for a woman. Hopefully i won't have to wait too long to find a man of my dreams. Louise xx